Love Letters from the Past

I was very taken with Elaine's recent post about letter writing at Life in the Slow Lane. It prompted me to take another look at a some rather special letters that I've been looking after since my Grandad died.  These are letters to my Great-Grandmother from her first fiance.  They start in the winter of 1893/94.

This is one of the first letters.  It's clear even then that my Great-Grandmother worked long hours on the family farm and had very little time to meet her 'suitor'.  It seems that he wrote if the weather was too bad to visit, or if one of them was too ill to meet.  Even at this early stage there are also some letters that he has written to clear the air after an argument.  It's rather strange to read the justifications of an argument that took place 120 years ago!

Every letter through 1894 and 1895 ends with an affection 'sign off' and loving PSs.  There are also a few Valentines cards in the pile and other cards that he sent her for amusement.  Unfortunately the relationship appeared to flounder in 1896.  My Great-Grandmother is accused of prioritising her work on the farm over making time to see her 'beau'.  There are several complaining letters when she has clearly cancelled at the last minute.

Finally, at the bottom of the pile, there's an envelope with a plain piece of paper wrapped around this small scrap... It seems that he was finally tired of waiting.  My Great-Grandmother couldn't bring herself to keep the letter where he broke off the engagement, but she cut the date from the top and kept it in an envelope with all the other letters.

She also kept the ring and I now keep it safe with other family heirlooms.

Eventually my Great-Grandmother found 'the man of her dreams'.  He was an engineer from Stafford who cycled to north-east Manchester to find work in 1900.  He was happy to let her run the farm, while he worked in a factory less than a mile away at the bottom of the hill.  They had three children - two girls and then a boy.  The boy was my maternal Grandad and he eventually followed his father into the same engineering trade.

I never knew my Great-Grandmother but I understand that she was profoundly deaf.  Family tradition says that she became deaf following the shock of her first broken engagement.  After all these years, we'll never really know the truth.  I just feel very lucky to be able to look after a little 'time capsule' from 120 years ago.

Hiding truths...

Family history has fascinated me for years.  It all started when my Uncle got in touch and asked me and Dad to explore my Grandad's early life.  Sadly I'd never known this grandparent. He died quite young (aged 63 in 1963) before my parents were married.  Anyway, he had always kept the facts of his early life very simple - he came from Kidderminster; he'd been an under-age soldier in WW1 - going out to the trenches at the age of 15 then being 'held to serve' on Salisbury Plain until he returned to France in 1917; his brother had died in WW1 and the rest of his family were dead.

My Uncle asked us to do some research. He lives in Norfolk but Kidderminster is only a few miles to the north of us in Worcester.  It didn't take very long to establish that my Grandad had hidden a few 'untruths' in this simple story.   His father was alive and living Kidderminster until 1940.  He had a sister and a half-sister.  His sister died in the mid-1970s, having lived all her life in the same town.  The half-sister died a couple of years before we started our research - still living in the West Midlands. 

We'll never know that exact reasons for my Grandad's complete 'cutting off' from his family, but we've researched enough to guess some of the factors.  Grandad stayed in the army at the end of WW1 and went to fight in Ireland with the Worcesters.  If he returned to Kidderminster in the early 1920s he would have spent the best part of 7 years away from home and experienced many awful things.  During this time his father had re-married and there was a young half-sister.  His sister was living with an Aunt, rather than with her father, which gives more clues to general family relationships.  I suspect that he just 'moved on' for work.  He couldn't keep in touch by post with his father because my Great-grandad couldn't read (he signed his marriage certificate with a 'X')

My Dad and his brother have cousins that they have never met.  We felt that it was better to avoid them and are very careful what we put on family history sites.  Nevertheless, we've put together a huge family tree of the bigger 'clan' and I have spent time with more distant relatives. 

The amazing thing is that the family originally come from Bewdley and the Wyre Forest (the town in my previous post).  I know that they were one of a group of families who lived and worked in the forest.  They were desperately poor and frequently got into trouble with the law.  The only documentation that I can find on them (appart from the census returns and BMD records) are their regular court appearences!

You may think it strange, but I feel that I owe a great deal to this Grandad who I never knew.  He is my only muscial ancestor - so without him I could never have become a Music Teacher.  It must be a strong gene because there are loads of musicians that I have met in the modern extended family.  I recognise many of my other character traits in the way that my Grandad seems to have responded to the situations that he found himself in.  This research has also explained the tremendous affinity that I've always felt for the area round Bewdley.  I like to think that it's 'in my genes'!

This is the only 'family house' still standing (the small end cottage closest to the camera).  It's on the hill above Bewdley. My Great grandfather lived there in the 1881 census.  The other cottages that the family rented were so poor and unsuitable for modern living that they have been all been demolished - or disappeared under the Kidderminster ring road!

We walked past this cottage again on Sunday morning.  It's in a very poor state and it isn't clear whether anyone is actually living there at the moment. If I had unlimited funds I would love to buy this piece of family history and create a little weekend bolt hole for myself, family and friends.  It's the kind of cottage that would look great if it was painted white then furnished with splashes of colour and lots of handmade things.

Unfortunately I haven't got unlimited funds...... but I guess it's still good to dream!